Over the course of seven seasons and four feature films, Star Trek: The Next Generation‘s Dr. Beverly Cheryl Howard Crusher (Gates McFadden) has had her share of romances… but the good doctor hasn’t had the best of luck in love. True, none of the TNG characters have sustained a successful long-term relationship on the show (let’s rule out Troi and Riker for various reasons), but most of her hook-ups have been on the weirder side.

SYFY WIRE is taking a look back at Dr. Crusher’s romances, and nope — we’re not counting her deceased husband Jack Crusher, who was already dead and gone when The Next Generation premiered in 1987.

Fans will no doubt recall the USS Enterprise‘s Chief Medical Officer’s romantic liaison with an amnesiac Zalkonian given the name of John Doe in the third season episode, “Transfigurations.” The two fell in love and were ready to take their relationship to the next level until he transformed into a being of pure energy… who ended up lacking in the equipment department.

Next up is Odan, a Trill ambassador with a symbiont who fell in love with Beverly in the Season 4 episode, “The Host.” The two engage in some sexy times but when the host (that’d be Odan) is killed, the symbiont is temporarily transferred to Riker… and this is when things get really weird, real fast. When a permanent host is found in a female Trill, Bev throws in the towel, saying she “can’t keep up.”

Then we have the Season 7 episode “Sub Rosa” that we’ll just dub “the one in which Dr. Crusher has (ahem) ‘orgasms thanks to her recently deceased grandmother’s alien ghost candle.'” Her lover here was named Ronin, who took on the form of a man straight out of a gothic romance novel… until Beverly snuffed him out of existence.

Last but not least is Capt. Jean-Luc Picard, who was partly responsible for the demise of Beverly’s hubby. Despite admitting their love for each other, these two crazy kids never got together (except in an alternate reality and in the Star Trek books).